jacksonhawkin User Profile

About jacksonhawkin

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Deviant for 11 years
He / Him

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despacidont

Feb 16, 2023

Hey man, long time fan, way back since the og series. I remember an old one you did of a new secretary and a strawberry tea drink. Any archive of that? Hope you're doing well. Been a while since you've written. Your stuff was some of the best on this platform, hope you've used that talent elsewhere :)

TurntechGodhead12

Edited Oct 20, 2019

I’ve looked through all your work. A change in point of view might benefit your work. Third person is good for exploring the thoughts of more then one person. But the scenes you show usually mainly focus on just one person for quite some time. First person can give a much more detailed look into the mind and personality of the single person. It might work well in a mental transformation, letting the reader see just how much the character’s mind is changing. Second person can be good for the scene itself, so it would give more attention to the physical transformation.

I hope at least some of this helps you in some way. I know you are looking for feedback before writing more, which I completely understand.